The Most Important Relationship of Your Life

The Most Important Relationship of your Life: Your Relationship with Yourself


Relationships are the cause of our greatest moments, our greatest sorrows, our celebrations, our highs and lows but it is the relationship with ourselves which is the most important and all too often forgotten.  Knowing: we are perfect; we are enough; we do not need to be any more than we are today brings a foundation to our lives which carries us smoothly and effortlessly through every other relationship journey which we will encounter.

Do you search for who you are in the eyes of others?  Have you created your life based on what other people believe?

You do not need anyone’s permission to be who you are.  People spend their whole lives searching for someone to make them whole. You don’t need someone, you want someone.

Society, in and off itself, says that: pretty is better; more is better; the more money you have the better you are; the more everything you have the better you are.  The reason I bring this up is because what this tends to do is validate itself.  Suddenly, if you don’t have the big house and you don’t have the big car, you don’t have a wonderful relationship, you are not good enough.  You are not enough.  This is so very wrong.  In order to be one with yourself you must be enough for yourself.  Whatever happens, there is no one you want to be; there is no place you’d rather be; just who you are is enough. 

Spirit always tries to show us the simplest form of being.  You can get into all kinds of metaphysical hoo-ha, but the truth is simplicity itself, the simpler you reduce your form and thinking the greater are your prospects for joy in your life.  The more you complicate your thinking the more you complicate your joy and the more you complicate your relationships.  The more you don’t find out who you are the sadder you will be and the more stressed out you will become.  So starting with yourself, start with the self and know: you are, in fact, enough.  You are enough.

What if you found out that nothing that anyone says as a child has any bearing on who you are whatsoever?  What if you found out again that you are enough?  The expression of others into our lives, if we listen to that, if we believe that, if we follow that path, we will be very unhappy people.

A lady, who at 72 years spent all her time talking about how her mother told her that she would never be in a good relationship.   At 72 yrs she had never had a relationship, she was still listening to her mother.  That had absolutely nothing to do with her.  That was her mothers stuff.  How could a mother create such a reality for her child?  It happens often.  Every day.

In the Broadway musical Little Abner, somebody asks Little Abner “if you had a choice, who would you rather be?” and he answers “just me, I love just me, just me is enough”.  We don’t teach that in society so you never learn it. 

If only someone had said to you “You know: no matter what others tell you, by golly, you are enough.  You are a beautiful soul, a beautiful spirit in human form.  How can I help you express yourself in this life? What is it you need from me in order for your life to shine the way you want it to shine?  Because, heaven knows, you are perfect. What is it you would like the experience of?”   Unfortunately we don’t do that do we? We don’t get that. Very few parents give it.

Teachers don’t really like this way of thinking.  They are so busy teaching children that they are not enough, and that they need to know this and that.   Children don’t NEED to know anything.  They should read and write but we busy ourselves teaching children things they will never use, because it fits a program of how we want our society to look and so we cram all our children into the very same learning experience and hope that a couple of them turn out to make our lives better financially.

What is the self?  

Remember always that we are spirit in human form, not a human form with a spirit attached.  

The form in which the soul occupies; the form that made your coffee; the form that brushed your teeth; that put on your make up; that your soul helped you to create into this life and to draw your lessons to; whom ever you chose to be with; whatever life you chose to create – it is spirit, a soul in human form.  

The soul is occupying this particular body, it doesn’t make a bit of difference whether it is male, female, young, old.  It doesn’t make a bit of difference. We choose the vehicle for the possibility of the greatest lesson we want to learn.  What we each should strive to do is learn how to blend the spirit, the mind, the body and the soul together.  You and your self, true self, in one, always remain one.  You arrived as one.  You will leave as one.  The body will be discarded.  Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.  The soul that occupied the body will go home to the true self again.  Always remember spirit is the reality, humanity is the lesson, nothing more, nothing less, this is the illusion.  This whole life that you are living is a giant illusion that you have created for your expansion and that of the universe.

We never die, we are either alive in this body or alive out of the body.  We never die.

Just who you are is enough for you for the rest of this incarnation so developing a relationship with yourself means I love and like me.  I am the nicest boy or girl I know.  All the pain that that statement may make for some was created by other people and other situations.  When you arrived here you were a perfect loving expression of god, period.  Nothing more, nothing less.  You are divine.  And we have a divine right to be here. 

In society we can have difficulties with parents, siblings, the people around us, grandparents, teachers, all these people have an impact on the self and we tend to believe them because at that early stage we really don’t know any better.  We think “oh yes, I have to do this in order to be loved by my mum”, “I need to be a good girl or good boy for my parents”, “in order for my dad to love me I have to perform these certain things which he thinks are important”, but each of those statements, each one of those things actually invalidates the self.  It doesn’t validate the self.  It invalidates the self and when the self gets invalidated the self starts to follow the path of least resistance; which means it tries hard to be loved; it tries hard to be liked, it does what others say is best; it does not stand up for itself; it diminishes itself as it tries to be loved and liked.

No one is better than you.  If you ever meet anybody on this plain that you consider to be better than you, you have a problem.  People are in different sets of circumstances based on their own karmic needs and own karmic destinies, absolutely no one is better than anyone.

There are no favourites whatsoever.  There is no judgment of your life, only you do that, judgment day is in your mind.  Stop judging others and start by not judging yourself.  Project love and compassion.

You don’t need to achieve anything to be.  If you never advanced from here today you are enormously successful just to be alive.  Not responding to mind chatter is successful.  If you were to record your mind chatter and play it back you would not be very happy with yourself. 

Spirit is not watching us with binoculars.  They hear and see the vibration of your soul as it goes through life.  They see the vibration.  Do they care who you are sleeping with?  Noooo.  What they care about is how you are going through.  Are you learning what you set out to learn?  Are you content? Are you peaceful?  Are you getting out of your way?  Are you taking advantage of each and every day and not worrying about tomorrow?  Are you learning? Expanding? Growing?

Nothing is the matter with us, nothing ever will be. You are perfect in the space that you are today, you do not need to be afraid of a thing.  If cancer or heart troubles come to visit you, you are fine; nothing changes.  You change clothes.  We don’t keep our bodies.  It is like going to school, it’s a classroom, there is no reality to this. 

Pain usually was something that happened, will it be again?  We go from was to will it be again so we build up an expectation of pain.  We start to wait for someone to hurt us again.  We don’t go into a relationship because we know that some pain that hurt us last time and is going to come back and visit us again. Was there any truth in the statement from the individual?  NO, but they set it up, it is an illusion.  Some people set it up that the next relationship is going to bring pain and to take care of themselves they will not enter the relationship.  When we get into the preoccupation of pain we limit ourselves, our perception of worthiness.  Life is an illusion, nothing is actually going wrong. It is our perception that makes it look real.  Most of our illnesses are pain; are guilt.  All of these things are from our earlier time of our existence on this planet and how we responded to that pain sets the parameters for the illusion.  When the parameters were set the doors were so wide we could bring many things inside so as time went by we kept feeding the illusion making it work more and more real.   Over time we feel it and feed it until it gets so big we believe it is real, when it was nothing more than our fears.  None of it was true. 

What someone thinks of you is none of your concern.  It’s what you think of what they think and it’s because of what you think of what they think that fills the warehouse and after a while it gets to a certain point which is irreversible.  It becomes so big you simply can’t get around it.  Common sense, common rationality, even spirit who is whispering in your ear “let it go, let it go” doesn’t help and then you begin to look for it and that shifts your perception again and you get into a whole other illusion and you grow into the pain until you die.  This perception, this illusion can ruin your life for you if you let it.  You need to take charge of it and say “NO that isn’t true, that was then, this is now”.  Let it go.

Nothing is right, nothing is wrong, the difference is the perception of the things we do to prove we are inadequate.  The greatest fear you will ever know is your own mind.  The worst enemy you will ever have is sitting in your lap.  The only hell you will ever go through is your own mind.  You put yourself in the condition you are in.  You either believe or you don’t, nothing else matters, get on with your life.

Are you God fearing?  I’m not.  My god is very friendly; has a great sense of humour; likes me a lot; is very tolerant; is extremely patient; is with me cheering me on in every moment of joy and supporting me in every moment of doubt, fear or sadness.  

Find the humour in being a spirit in human form.  Look for joy, seek it out.  Be alive, don't just breath.

We are products and creation of pure divine love.  When you accept that divine love is your right, your life will change.  We are simply baby angels.  You are a divine expression of god.  You chose this experience.  Recognize who you are, god force is flowing through you, you cannot be any better or worse than any soul in this earth.

"This above all: to thine own self be true" William Shakespeare.

Just say to yourself “I love you very much.  I’m so happy to be here today.  I’m so happy to be with you.  Thank you for being my best friend.  I may not know who you are but I promise you I’m going to find out and when I do I’m going to take very good care of you.”

Let this day take care of you forever.  For each day, each hour that you are here will lead you to wherever you need to go.  Don’t care about where you are going, know you are going to be alright.